…my “…NOTES FROM THE DUMP…” are more underground than his “NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND.” I too am ‘…a sick man, a spiteful man. I think my liver is diseased.’ However I must defer to him chronologically – he was there first – I’m merely a ridiculous man come late – he was there first yes but I don’t believe he’s got any more time underground than I.
I’m a natural to the nether world, mystery is my middle name; his was an acquired taste.
Not to mention, name-dropper that I am – once when Olga, a Russian immigrant with long rrrrolling rrrrs in herrrr speech, intrrrroduced me at an all-Russian party except for me, and said in English as only she can put it:
‘And this (Ond theese) ees Teddy Warrrd on whom arrrre based all Dostoyevsky novels’
I was in heaven, I blushed, gushed, stood and bowed, sat and scraped my feet on the Oriental carpet as my foolish Muzhik’s countenance glowed red with embarrassment (and vodka), and indeed I bathed in the reflected glory.
But over the years I’ve thought it over and over and Dostoyevsky’s novels are based in bathos, chaos, pain, murder & mayhem – why not only was I the fearless esne but also I was a ridiculous man, and that rascal Raskolnikov! Why, as a compendium of all Comrade D’s characters I was a murderer, a peasant, a lout, a wastrel drunkard and a social pariah!
How could Olga have seen through me so quickly? Were then these smiles around the groaning board the grins of approbation or smirks of derision?
Monday, August 20, 2007
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