It's hard to take a schmuck...

…like Rudolph Giuliani seriously.

President Giuliani? Give me a break, the real Rudy is pre-9-11...

Rude Rudy is the consummate politician (I mean that in a derogatory sense although generally I think consummate is taken to mean the best of something but there are no bests in the political arena, they are all second choice, second-rate do-nothings living off the public weal while pretending they are guiding us through the intricacies of life – speaking of folderol and balderdash), and all this hoopla over a painting of the Virgin Mary being splattered with camel dung IS folderol. First off, who really gives a shit? I’ve got a lot of work to do, wood to cut and haul and bring in in the few remaining weeks before the snow flies, and I’ve got meaningful editorials and deathless prose to compose…motorcycles to ride, a friend or two to visit, and so on…I don’t have time for the kind of silliness which is preoccupying the mind of Mayor Giuliani, although I’m not sure he has much of a mind; indeed, I’ve heard when he is alone in a room there’s a vacuum…

Rudy is merely stumping for Senator amongst The Faithful. Look, I don’t like camel shit dropped on my paintings either Rudy, whether of Mary Christ or Canal Street in Bellows Falls, but who am I to say what is art? And who are you, Lord and Master? – to say you’ll have the museum showing the painting in question, run out of town? If you and your co-conspirator – Major Media – hadn’t made such a fuss over the stupid thing anyway, nobody would ever even have heard of it.

All you’re doing is casting about for votes from the fundamentalists, the papists, the religious right and a variety of other sectarian nut cases as you run in vain against Hillary Rodham Clinton who’s gonna make short work out of you, Mayor. I’m bettin’ not even your own wife votes for you!

You and Rue Paul can then get together and do a sidewalk act outside Penn Station, or a traveling salvation show at all the drag strips...

(I’m pretty flagrante delicto with my whipping of The (former) Mayor don’t you think? It’s because I know most likely he’ll never see this so none of his boys will come at me with badges, sap gloves and Glocks and put 41 rounds through me.)