NOTES FROM THE DUMP

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

HOW COULD IT BE ANY OTHER WAY...

...I practically moan...this was the only possible finale. What was I expecting? That suddenly the years would melt away & there would stand I, in my serendipitous youth, all desirability? Animal magnetism and false modesty returned anew!? And then, filled with love, nearly sycophantic devotion and great expectations all would be right in my little corner of the world? O please, don’t go there…abject sorrow was the one and only end result and any objective observer to the bittersweet, incarnadine carnage would have agreed and would have seen it coming…but o no - not me Dude, I mean man I was too far gone and too obsessed to see much of anything else for quite awhile – years! - and by then it was too late, the hook was set…

Well what can I tell ya Dude? Like, don’t do that man?! OK, next life I won’t. And for the rest of this foreshortened life I won’t either, there are many diversions in life, some take human form but they come with a lot of baggage (I mean me too of course…) Hmmm…think I’ll grab a few Buds instead & a few buds; home alone, there’s no sense standing on ceremony whether midst a den of thieves nor in this solo outpost of mine bobbing on the threnody of an intellectual desert, an artistic climacteric & with a heart shot full of holes. Being naturally atrabilious helps…

Ahhhh yes…inhale, hold, exhale…inhale, hold, exhale, swallow, swallow, glug, glug, repeat as needed…nothin’ to it…I can beat this rap too…I didn’t last this long by imaginative foresight, o no, it was a fortuitous accident like a never-ending-as-of-yet accident, an ongoing accident as we speak, continuously rolling non-stop over and over…no planning is why I am where I am…it takes a lot of regrettable hindsight to get this far and finally see the answer as I’m crawling from the wreckage. The irony strikes me funny while I am hot and I haffta laff…then decap a stout, roll a bone & eat a perc…life is good o yes, life is good I guess, just depends on how you look at it…

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