...are firmly grounded in lore (which may bore) and go to the tender tendrils of my lowlife youth when first it was aggressively and agitatingly brought to my attention that my hearing apparatae were Dumbonian compared to those of my diminutive-lobed brethren; the reality of my ear size was brought home early on in my childhood, first on Halloween at the tender age of seven or so when the big ears I had on my costume were too small to fit over my own!
O, how those other school children shrieked with joy when I struggled in vain, and I saw the smirks on their parents' faces too! And of course I heard the whispers across the room above the din...
As I grew older and the taunts more shrill and acrimonious became, I decided I would (a) kill everybody I knew or (b) grow my hair long. So far plan (b) has saved a lot of lives.
Also in there is the fact that in the 40s and 50s when I grew up my Dad's punishment for many an infraction - skip school, getting drunk, swearing, other - was the 'butch' - o how I hated it! My globular, sloped head perched on narrow tapered shoulders with ears so big the wind would blow them back and forth, the bane of my existence; the good vet Dr. Quimby refused to dock my ears like a Doberman, Doc Seeley didn't think there was anyway to pin them back short of driving a rivet into my skull with snaps on the back of my flaps, but I think he was kidding.
Mercifully the Hippies came along and I blended right in and have stayed pretty much like that for 30-plus years; now I sweat Male Pattern Baldness and worry that anon once again my wings will appear...vanity? Please, don't get me started...
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