...and at that youthful time he was right, there was plenty of time to get it all done (whatever it was...) - times passes slowly, no hurry. Now it's not so true; actually it never was true it just seemed it in the early years.
An hour may take an eternity to pass but time flies. Time flies and nothing changes yet change is all there is; a world full of paradoxes...full of paradoxes and full of shit too...I tell you I am so sick of reading myself going on and on over and over about essentially nothing, and even then - given that I speak of nothing - I fake it and try to put a little spin on it to make it seem like I know what I'm talking about; I don't. Not much anyway, hardly at all...
I don't know what I'm talking about most of the time, and I don't know anybody who does. I DO have a way with words and so am therefore able to make what I write seem plausible or possible or at least moderately entertaining, but in truth it is all just so much crap - drivel, blather, prattle and nonsense...I'm not the literary historical treasure I sometimes fantasize myself as...I'm just another dude tossing words around for what I don't know...probably so I can somehow justify not actually having what one could call a job...
Plus, you see I don't know whether times passes slowly or not; it's gone by so friggin' fast I didn't notice...what I need is to be 'precipitated into activity,' but instead what I appear to be doing, trying to do anyway, is to edit myself out of life, getting rid of any evidence there was ever a me - burn the photos, the writings, purge the addled head and finish up this life in 'motionless contemplation', neither speaking, seeing, seeking nor being seen.
Before I complete this arduous task in the course of editing myself out of life I hope to use in NFTD every word I've ever learned in a last ditch, massive concatenation of tendentious creativity...
Meanwhile, away for now with this vademecum - and I'm off for a stout and the pipe...I'll give you motionless contemplation in spades Brothers & Sisters, watch this...
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